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Syida Starr, 221289twitter/facebook/blogger if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? wait for me, Pictures
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
SOLD!!! the house have been sold.... the new owner will take over by June... so by May, we will have to move out... mom said her application for rental flat not approved... so, im thinking where are we gonna live... i dun miind living on my own, but my brother and sister..? where will they live...? mom...? where will she live...? hmm... Effective Communnication is VERY important in a relationship... be it with a parent, siblings, partner, even friends... i want to ask mom, but im dont want to rebutt her when she give me 'sacarstic' answers... 'sacarstic' because, if i rebutt her sacarsm, wiff mine, i may risk sleeping under some bridge that very night... so i ask my sis to ask her what are her plans... hmmm... its almost impossible to just talk to her nowadays... everything that comes out of my mouth will be used against me... i dunno whats her problem, i dun really mind at first, i thot she was going thru somethings and need some way to let things out, but after a while, its getting harder to live with... aunty told me that in our family, its became some kind of 'tradition' that the mom gets angry, and chases the children away... the children being young and ignorant, leaves... she told me to break the mould... put up with things... make things better... but how much can i take before i am the one who will break... all of us here are humans... why treat each other like crap... live and let live... what happen in the past, let it go... you cant move forward unless you let go of the past... im afraid ome day i might wash everything off my hands... never meant to offend anybody, but i am grateful to those who helped me... i cant just stand there and let them be violated like that... never expect things to turn out this bad... kak siti is right, trust is important in every relationship... and trust is based on integrity... never understood what it means, but it sounds sincere... what will happen if i were to walk out... will they learn to appreciate each other better... i did mountains of horrible things... and i never meant to hurt anione... i just want everyone to be together... is that guilt screaming away inside my head...? or is it conscience...? is true happiness that hard to achieve... if thats so, i dont want it... i will just make do with what i have and leave the rest to settle for themselves... will they blame me for not trying hard enough... for leaving, for giving up... syida when you love, it takes a lot of courage to hold on and stick to the fight... and it takes even more courage to let go and walk away... will i regret this...?? |
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