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Syida Starr, 221289twitter/facebook/blogger if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? wait for me, Pictures
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Sunday, February 21, 2010
My Life I remember back in the days when I was still single, I used to roam around Singapore alone... With nothing to tie me down, no one to answer to... I love going to bookstores alone... Kinokuniya at Takashimaya was my favourite... It was just so BIG, i browsed all sections... Sometimes, just chat random people... It was nice... Im not complaining now that I have a partner with me... Now, when I go out with him, it feels nice to have someone by my side, but today I am going to roam again...!!! Hahhah... Ah fatt is off to work, while I have been sitting on my ass day after day... I need to get some of those polluted air out there and later come back home, thankful, that I have someone to share my day with... Im also gonna drop by Wani's house for a while... Miss my lil boy, Edryan... and if have time, I will see if Kak Siti is well... She have been sick past few days... Wishes Everyone a Sunny Sunday... >,< Syidazz I am learning to be optimistic about my situation. Friday, February 19, 2010
da da dumm... 9.46pm 10.59pm 10.33pm im sooo bored, i count the clock... hahah.... LAst two days was GREAT!!! hahha... coz sayang got 2 days off for CNY and spent the 1st day catching up with sleep... and yesterday was quite a bummer... we wanted to go out and have fun, but half way thru i had to come backk home and brat-sit my lil bro... -_-!! hehehh... but we made the best outta the situation... ah fatt offered to cook dinner coz all i can whipp up is Maggi... *sorry hunny* wani was here too... and wani was the one who suggest cooking Laksa Goreng... I tried helping but, i was too slow... so i just watched him do his thing and i set the table... Dinner was awesome!!! hehehh... then we just watched some movies together and i fell asleep... damnn... and he is backk to work today... i miss him already... im happy we get to spend some time together... ^.^ and he said something last night... i hope he stick to them... it will be easier on him... and mom "nice, who cook?" "me" "you cook?!!"*shockk* "duh!! ah fatt la...-_-" "he cooks??" "mom, he cooks for a living..." *silence* *smiles* now i need to get cleaning and do flyers for Car Wash... to supplement my income while waiting for my job... Pray for me it will go well please... Thank You.. =) syidazz 11.49pm Monday, February 15, 2010
too bored... not having a job is seriously taking its toll on my mental health... seriously... when i got nothing to do, i tend to think too much.... think this and that... and the worse is when i let my imagination get the worst of me... yesterday i waited up till 8 AM for sayang to come home!!! WTFF!!! who the hell works from 3pm till 8am with 2 days off a month ,and not to mention a fucking pathetic salary..??? if all that 'overtime' is fairly paid for, i guess its ok... but this is too much...!!! i call it slave-labour!!!!! and has to go back to work at 3pm...!!!!!!!!! he cant even wake up... i tried waking him up, and he was like *blur blur* and sms-ed some guy tat he will come in at 4.30pm coz he is still tired... and the frikking guy called back to say cannot, who will cook the staff meal...?? WTH? so he say he will come in at 3.30pm... he goes back to sleep and overshot, wake up only at 3.40pm.... seriously, it really upsets me to see anyone, especially him to look so tired but still have to dragg his ass to work... i asked him he say 'nevermind la', 'can la' and today, he will come home at around 8am again... fuckk!!! its not much of a problem to me if he has to work instead of spending our time together, but... no more words to describe how it hurts when i see him like tat... the good thing is tat he sees all the positive things and just be happy whatever way he can... atleast i still see him smile when he comes home and i hope this stupid ruckus willl end soon... and i have thankfully got a job and will start next month *thank you* will start looking for a place to stay and in the mean time, if anione got a temp job offer to work for 1 week only, can tell me..??? =) dowanna stay home and drive myself nuts... hoped everybody have had a wonderful day, goodnite... syidazz hopes to make it beautiful someday... Labels: please... Tuesday, February 2, 2010
SOLD!!! the house have been sold.... the new owner will take over by June... so by May, we will have to move out... mom said her application for rental flat not approved... so, im thinking where are we gonna live... i dun miind living on my own, but my brother and sister..? where will they live...? mom...? where will she live...? hmm... Effective Communnication is VERY important in a relationship... be it with a parent, siblings, partner, even friends... i want to ask mom, but im dont want to rebutt her when she give me 'sacarstic' answers... 'sacarstic' because, if i rebutt her sacarsm, wiff mine, i may risk sleeping under some bridge that very night... so i ask my sis to ask her what are her plans... hmmm... its almost impossible to just talk to her nowadays... everything that comes out of my mouth will be used against me... i dunno whats her problem, i dun really mind at first, i thot she was going thru somethings and need some way to let things out, but after a while, its getting harder to live with... aunty told me that in our family, its became some kind of 'tradition' that the mom gets angry, and chases the children away... the children being young and ignorant, leaves... she told me to break the mould... put up with things... make things better... but how much can i take before i am the one who will break... all of us here are humans... why treat each other like crap... live and let live... what happen in the past, let it go... you cant move forward unless you let go of the past... im afraid ome day i might wash everything off my hands... never meant to offend anybody, but i am grateful to those who helped me... i cant just stand there and let them be violated like that... never expect things to turn out this bad... kak siti is right, trust is important in every relationship... and trust is based on integrity... never understood what it means, but it sounds sincere... what will happen if i were to walk out... will they learn to appreciate each other better... i did mountains of horrible things... and i never meant to hurt anione... i just want everyone to be together... is that guilt screaming away inside my head...? or is it conscience...? is true happiness that hard to achieve... if thats so, i dont want it... i will just make do with what i have and leave the rest to settle for themselves... will they blame me for not trying hard enough... for leaving, for giving up... syida when you love, it takes a lot of courage to hold on and stick to the fight... and it takes even more courage to let go and walk away... will i regret this...?? |
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