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Syida Starr, 221289twitter/facebook/blogger if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? wait for me, Pictures
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Sunday, January 3, 2010
second serving of depression... i miss him dearly... heyy... i know i jus blogged this afternoon... but im jus in the mood to blog again ok... anione got a problem wiff that can kiss my *cheeks*... so lets see, what did i waste my time on today... after sayang went to work, i hogged the laptop... blogging, change skin, play facebook... on 3 diffrent account, eat, smoke.... then i did some houseworks, went through my 2009 diary, and that when it all started going down.... suddenly i really miss my darling, and its really hard coz of his working hours and stuff... and i went into depressed mode... i lay down hugged my pillow really tight and tried to sleep it off.... i woke up about 2 hours later and felt very wierd... i was in the exact position when i fell asleep, i forgot what i was dreaming about, and tears were rolling down my face... why..?? i dont know... and the first thing i saw when i woke up was a picture of us on his laptop background, which of course sank me deeeeper into depression mode... i went to the toilet to freshen myself, watch "The *something* of Merlin" , Channel 5 news, then mom came back, i wasn't in the mood to socialise, so i retreat backk to my room, tried reading Sidney Sheldon and failed, so i logged on and started this... btw, i am adoring my new skin... but kel said got html errors... which i have no slightest idea what it meant... lols.. ok, where was i.... hmm... i am trying very hard to keep a positive mind and despite everything he said and did to make up for the time, i am feeling like an ass for behaving this way.. but i really miss us together... yeah we stay together but, he spends most of his hours at work and when he comes home, he is tired... now i know what it means... and now i need another dose of nicotine... *damn those ciggs* i really need to make myself busy so that i will stop thinking too much... so i think i will be out tomorrow... hopefully i will stick to the plan... syida counting the hours and minutes till sayang comes back home... Labels: sayang |
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