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Syida Starr, 221289twitter/facebook/blogger if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? wait for me, Pictures
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Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Year. Old Faces. Fresh start? Hello World!! Lemme see.... Last i touched my blog was on New Year, right...?? *checking* Oh... nope... Last was Eve of New Year Eve.... Heheh.... And in between 30th December 2009 and *what is todays date??* oh, 3rd January 2010, ALOT cRaZeE stuff happens... Family issues, personal issues, the usual stuff... Too much drama in the house... Anger, frustration, angst, hurt, regret and guilt... And as much as i try to stay away from them, they are still my family... I dont want to be an ignorant bastart... And i still care about them, i just show it less nowadays... And tomorrow is Daneal's first day of Primary One!!! Time really flies... And the next thing you know, he will be off to National Service... *giggles* Actually, Im trying to figure out how to change my URL...*helpp* Im also Blogskins.com now, trying to look for new skin...*hmmm* Back to my blogging. I love my family, my mom, my sisters and brother... Its just the drama, the shits that just makes me more ignorant each passing day. And not to mention the moodswings!! Then one day something happen and makes me feel bad for being such an ass... Some things in life shouldn't be taken for granted. Honestly.! Trust, love, honesty, respect, relationship, choices, opportunities... Cause if you take advantage of one situation, and it turns our badd, everybody around you will start doubting EVERYTHING you say or do. They will start questioning your intentions, motives... Its not a good feeling trust me. The after-taste could be more bitter for you to swallow. I believe in letting my youger sister and brother make their own mistakes, so that they will learn from them. All i as for them is honesty. I admit, i wasnt an angel going through my adolscent years. I told lies, started stealing. To justify my actions, I tried not to hurt the ones i love. I just do it for the thrill, nothing serious. Then I came to a point when I realise that "Ok, I had my fun, time to be less of an idiot, try to make ammends wherever possible." To those who I didn't get my chance to make things better, Im sorry. And now I'm here. The only regret I had was not taking my education seriously. I try hard not to let my younger siblings make the same mistake. Even to the extent, if they hate me for forcing myself onto them, then i don't really care. It will be the only thing i expect of them, next to respecting the elders. And the less you expect, the less you get hurt. As for my personal life, Im always at the crossroads. I dont know where to go, how to get what i want, where will i be going. And each time I get in those moods, i starts to think "Hmm, maybe its better if i go back to school. But, what to study?" I miss the days when all i have to do was get good grades, behave well so that they will be happy. It not like that anymore, expectations mounts with each day, and im still on my butt figuring things out. Im really keeping a positive attitude towards 2010. I don't want to fuck things up and land myself in the gutters... Again... So, I will wish YOU AND ME the best of everything that life in 2010 has to offer. Make good choices, and relationships. Love more and its ok to slip once in a while. I believe I will make good things happen, but i promise you that i will fall somewhere. I just hope that I won't be judged at when i do. Last, but not least, I hope I will be able to spend more time with Ah Fatt. Its been ages since we went out and have fun. I miss you baby... Syidazz Sometimes it just is... No reasons... |
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