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Syida Starr, 221289twitter/facebook/blogger if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? wait for me, Pictures
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Sunday, August 16, 2009
missed lots of things been happening here past few month... and i mean A-LOT!! been quite some time since i blogged or even wrote on my diary... i just didnt have the mood to do anything.... and did i tell u i colored my hair.. huhu.... with the help of ever-boring douglas... haha... dowan tell u wad color... hehe.. back to the changes... all the miscommunication, misunderstanding, mistakes..... i didnt mean to be rude or ungrateful... im just at lost at what to do... i cant go in or out... i dont want to understand why things suddenly fell apart.. was it coz i was too ignorant?? too selfish maybe..?? i dont want to fight neither of them.. its their fight.. right?? im just a girl who want to go on...can i?? i dont want to get involve in their shit.. i am lost as i am, and with this fucked up shit lying around, who can help but to start retaliating... he says this, she said that.. tell her this, tell him that.... after 19years knowing me, how could you not know that i never wanna give a fuck about anitin... did u know that i have given up on my life long ago... so why behave like as if i want to give a shit about aniting else.... sounds terribly selfish u may say, but, thats just who i am... if u cant accept me the way i am, then its your problem... right...?? and why do i treat other well?? didnt i treat u well before..?? before you change?? maybe because we dont expect anitin from one another... (maybe jus a stick of ciggies now and then) but they dont tell me im fat and i need to lose weight so taht maybe if im lucky enuf, some guy would wanna marry me.... i really dont need that... i have enuf on my plate as it is... another dickhead to bother about is really outta the question... maybe if im prettier, you will like me better.. but im so sorry to have to say this... i dont live to please you or anione for that matter... aniway, this chapter in my life taught me that i can never depend on anione... anione at all.. they have their own life to live... i will have to live mine... not theirs... i dont regret anitin that has happen.. in fact, i will embrace it as a life lesson learnt... and i will still pray everynight before i sleep that maybe when i wake up tomoro, everthing will shine like a rainbow in the blue cloud after a shower... syidazz i miss everything that we used to do together.... |
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