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Syida Starr, 221289twitter/facebook/blogger if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? wait for me, Pictures
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Saturday, May 31, 2008
abang this place is growing fucking-ly annoying... i cant stand this and will leave when my time is due... i remembered when i was small i would ask mom why i dont have a big brother? and i will ask mom to give me a big brother.. but instead, i got a lil brother after 10years pluss.... then, about 6years later, i started to see china man coming into my house, and i started call these chinese guys 'abang'... then we will show pics of ourselves n family n frens... ask age, birthdates, hometown.... now we r practically rolling around in front of the tv, pillow fighting... with good morning, wan 'an, ni hao, huai ren, makan, xie xie, bu yao ta wo, chow yan.... we grow on each other... i like having them around.. and tried to imagine the day when they will have to head home.. back to their family, children, frens in china.... hmm.... somethings are jus beyond our control... i seem to love them more than my own family... why.... there is a wall in the living room decorated with mom n dad wedding pic in the middle,from left, daneal baby pic, then kak siti wedding pic, then wani wedding pic, then fiqa pic taken at downtown east... where am i...??? ALLAH knows.... hmmm.... i asked mom "asl gmbar i tk da?? sume org ader.. asl i tk da??" she said "ko asik nk amik gmbr jek, tk nk.. lari2.. tk da lah... aku tk da gmbr kau pon" so i jus shut the fuck up, go to my room and stare aimlessly at all my framed up pic hanging on my wall............ she could have asked. but the way i see the wall in the living room, there r no more space.... not even for one pic... coz im too fat n wont fit anywhere on the wall.... so are these reasons or just fucked excuse that i look for to justify the fact that i somehow seem to treasure outsiders better than my own family..?? i dont have the answer... "let daneal play the laptop, if not he will get bored and go out..." "fiqa is out with her frens to bugis doing god-knows-what" "kak siti pandai.. sume je blaja sendiri..." "wani lawa... je kalo tungu lame sikit dapat laki bagos" "kau p kuruskn badan lah... bodoh sangat... pasal gemok la kau jadi bodoh" "syida gemok" i just told her that tomorow im goin to amk with my frens to study for monday n tuesday exam... "cakap jek blaja, tau tau tnga merayap ngn jantan" am i going to hell?? ok, so she does buy me clothes n feed me well, give me my pocket money, pay for my japanese book... but then i somehow dont feel content... i am goin to hell... so wani.... i have updated my fucking blog.. tag me ok... my abang xiaohui jian bing ai hua ming xiaoyu (fulin) zhou haichuan love syidazz one way ticket to hell (i hate u) sing for the moment - eminem They say music can alter moods and talk to you Well, can it load a gun for you and cock it too? Labels: abang |
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